A whole host of studies say they don’t, so why do we keep having them?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our Childfree By Choice friends are going to eat this up, but I feel it is my duty to share with you a recent story in Newsweek magazine examining whether children make parents happy. Here is the full story. Here are some highlights for the speed read:
Author Lorraine Ali reports in her story:
“In Daniel Gilbert’s 2006 book ‘Stumbling on Happiness,’ the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008’s ‘Gross National Happiness’ author, Arthur C. Brooks, finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless.”
“ ‘Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers,’ says Florida State University’s Robin Simon, a sociology professor who’s conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. ‘In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It’s such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they’re not.’ “
“In pre-industrial America, parents certainly loved their children, but their offspring also served a purpose—to work the farm, contribute to the household. Children were a necessity. Today, we have kids more for emotional reasons, but an increasingly complicated work and social environment has made finding satisfaction far more difficult.”
“The majority of American parents now work outside the home, have less support from extended family and face a deteriorating education and health-care system, so raising children has not only become more complicated—it has become more expensive.”
The author concludes: “Parents still report feeling a greater sense of purpose and meaning in their lives than those who’ve never had kids. And there are other rewarding aspects of parenting that are impossible to quantify. For example, I never thought it possible to love someone as deeply as I love my son.”
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